So I started this a few weeks ago and have been putting it off, but I really need to remember this for myself so I'm finishing it...
I'm suuuuuper discouraged because I just wrote a big long post and really felt great about it, and then I was a tech idiot and my computer froze and, needless to say, it's gone. I was just going to bag it and cry myself to sleep (yes, I am that dramatic) but instead I'm going to try to recapture whatever's left of it in my brain and go from there. It's not as eloquent as I'd gotten it before...but here ya go:
"Thou shalt not covet" = the most broken of Moses' 10 commandments. We covet everything from houses, cars, children, money, talents, etc. Why? Jealousy is becoming a raging epidemic in this world. Human beings are individual and different and unique...isn't individuality something to strive for? No two people are the same and that is what makes us beautiful. Together, we weave the tapestry that is mankind. I know I'm kind of going all "Prince of Egypt" on ya, but it's true - we need differences to keep this world interesting and growing.
I've had some interesting experiences lately that have really struck me. I'm going to quote some very sweet friends who've made a big difference in how I see things. A little back story: I have hated my curly hair for a very long time. I always used to fight it, but the last little while I've been really trying to embrace it and just my natural beauty as a whole. So about a month ago I posted a silly picture of me and my "Afro", as I like to call it, and I got a big response from people. One in particular stood out to me. A friend commented and wrote something along the lines of "our curls are very similar, but your curls look better than mine". Although a seemingly very sweet compliment, I was kind of taken aback. Why do we build others up by putting ourselves down? Confidence is good thing and somewhere along the lines it became a faux-pas to be confident in ourselves. There is a difference between cocky and confident and there's nothing wrong with the latter. If we have to be negative about ourselves to be positive about someone else, is that really a compliment? Not to mention, she has beautiful hair and is beautiful inside and out, but we need to learn how to compliment others without putting ourselves down and, more importantly, to find our own self worth.
This brings me to my next point. I have a sweet friend that I absolutely adore and could go on and on about her, but there is story to be told here: one night we were talking about her being jealous of her husband's talents. I told her that I envy lots of things about her followed by "probably in and unhealthy way". What she said in response really hit me and opened my eyes to the reality of what I was doing. She said "envy is a scary thing" and that she would never want to be the reason I doubt myself or don't feel good about me. I hadn't ever thought of it that way. How selfish of me to put her in that position? I also would never want to be the reason anyone didn't feel good about themselves. I want everyone in my life, man and woman alike, to know their true worth, and not for a minute think they are any less valuable than me. Yes, this friend is great, but that doesn't mean I'm not great too. I found this quote and I absolutely love it...just be you!
One thing that I feel really exacerbates this situation is the internet: social media is dangerous. Don't get me wrong, it can definitely be a good thing - keep up with old friends, get info on what's going on around you, share life events with loved ones, etc. However, the second we start making it a negative thing is the second we need to re-evaluate. Do you sit and compare yourselves to others? Do you judge yourself or others based on what you read? Are you wishing you were someone else? Do you look at people's kids and wish you had your own? The list goes on and on. In the words of a very wise man: "STOP IT". Remember, we only see bits and pieces of someone else's life and it's not ok to see that and think yours isn't good enough. Don't put people in that situation, and don't get sucked in. I know this is easier said than done, but be willing to get rid of people who don't uplift and encourage you. If you're just hanging on to someone because you insist on seeing that "their life is so much better than yours" - STOP IT! Get rid of it and make a pact with yourself today to stop comparing and clean up your social media accounts.
Everyone is different, we all do things differently, we can all improve and make changes. No one is the same and we are all beautiful just the way we are. There will never be another Chelsea Withers - how perfect is that?! I get to create me just the way that I want, not the way that someone else is. Never forget that life is a gift and the only person to compare ourselves to is our old self and where we need to improve personally. On top of that, never put someone in an involuntary situation because you are envying them in an "unhealthy way". Chances are that they love you more than to let you do that if they knew you were doing it!
Lastly, I know that we're not all of same faith, but I truly believe we are daughters, and sons, of a Heavenly Father that loves us so unconditionally and so much that he gave us this life as a gift and made us just the way we are supposed to be and on purpose. You don't need to be anyone except YOU. Don't let Him down by trying to be anyone else.
Lots of Loves,
Chels.
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