That's Just Who I Am. - 12/21/13

I'm a hard person to get along with.  I know that.  I've lost a lot of friends in my life because of it.  I am very outspoken; I don't have a filter; I over share; I make people feel uncomfortable; I try to stand up for my faith and put my foot in my mouth on numerous occasions.  On the same token, I never want to feel like I'm hurting anyone.  I don't like contention, but I want people to know how I feel about them so I try to tell them, because I hate gossip.  I like to think I would never hurt a flee and I can say with conviction that I have never intentionally hurt anyone.  (If I have ever hurt you, I am sincerely sorry.)  I'm a wuss.  I love people too much.  All of those things together...not a great combination.


However, this is who I am.  Twenty five years of choices and life experiences have made me this person.  It's not something that just happened overnight that I can change in the blink of an eye.

I am so grateful for a husband who has encouraged me to embrace who I am, and not change.  If anyone has to deal with "the wrath of Chelsea" it would be Brad.  No one has had to deal with as much grief from me as he has...no one.  And yet, with very few exceptions, he's the only person who's been around for a while that's never, at one point or another, made me feel like I need to change any part of me.  He is faithfully by my side through every stupid decision I make, every dumb comment I let slip through my lips, every uncomfortable "Chelsea Secret" I share with the wrong person too early, and he holds my hand and supports me every step of the way back through the repercussions.  He may not agree 100% with everything I do or say, but he knows and loves me enough that he doesn't judge me or demean me for my mistakes.

THAT, my friends, is what matters to me: the love of my husband and the people who don't push the real me away.  I can't change for anyone, not even you, but I will love you and care about you with as much of me as I can.  I'm not sorry if that's not enough to make you love me back.

So, to my friends who put up with my crazy, thank you and I love you unconditionally!  To any others who get irritated and annoyed with me or say mean things about me behind my back and won't tell me to my face, I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry...I won't change, that's just who I am.