Age 26 - This Year's Goals.

Well, I did it...at the age 25 I went one whole year without sugary treats!  (with the exception of Christmas Day....but it was Christmas Day...haha)  I almost can't believe it.  In some ways it was difficult, but for the most part it didn't even phase me after the first few months.  It's just a part of my lifestyle now...so much so that I have decided to continue on with no sweets with a few provisions along with a few more healthy goals:

1. Treats only on:
1. Brad's Birthday
2. 4th of July
3. Once at end of August/beginning of September
4. Halloween
5. Thanksgiving
6. Christmas
7. Valentine's Day
8. Easter
2. No junk food or fast food - i.e. chips, buttery popcorn, cheese fries, hamburgers, fried or greasy foods, etc.
3. Only eat out once a week maximum - either Friday or Saturday - still no greasy foods
4. No white flour - bread, rice, tortillas, etc.  *except in treats on holidays or if someone else cooks for me and I don't want to be rude
5. Run a 10k at the end of Summer/beginning of Fall
6. Run the Tulip Festival Half Marathon at Thanksgiving Pointe next Spring
7. Be more frugal - only spend what you have and spend it on what you need
1. Meal plan and follow that plan
2. Start budgeting on Brad's income only
8. Blog once a week on at least one blog

That about covers what I want to do for now.  There are many other things that I would like to add to this, but I don't want to make unrealistic expectations.  

Here's to an even better 26 and to feeling healthier and appreciating my body more :)

Lots of Loves,
Chels.

Running!

Did I mention that I'm running a 5k on Saturday?  I know for you avid runners this is no sweat (probably literally), but for me this is a big step into the world of running.  I've only ever done one 5k before, and it was just on a whim...and I didn't do so hot haha.  This time I wanted to do it as part of my push for a healthier lifestyle.

Growing up I was an athlete...you name it I played it, at least for a few seasons.  That was my form of exercising...running around playing.  I actually did run track for one year when I was like 14, but I was most definitely a sprinter.  My fastest mile was like 9:05 I think?  I've never been a long distance runner!  But now that I'm older there really isn't an outlet to play sports.  Sure, the hubs and myself go play some ultimate frisbee with "the kids" sometimes (am I really calling 18-21 year olds kids!?), but that's so few and far between that it's far from keeping my heart healthy and my body in shape.  Moral of the story?  I'm going to try to get into something productive as an adult...so running it is!  For now.  (I'd actually love to try crossfit, but for now it's too expensive, too far away, and too intimidating haha).

Thanks to my good friend Christine, and my free membership to Gold's Gym through work, I actually feel like I might not die on Saturday!  Haha I've gone jogging at least 3 times a week since the beginning of the month and I get further and less tired every time.  First step 5k, next step...who knows!  :)  But for now, I'm feeling good about myself and that's what matters.  Updates about how I did coming soon!

Lots of Loves,
Chels.

P.S.  I have also been kickin' butt on the water drinking front...at least 80 oz a day!  Now excuse me, the potty is calling!

Christ the Lord Is Risen Today.

I know that my Redeemer lives. I know that He was born as a baby, He did live, that He died, and that He lives again. There is no doubt in my mind that He was born to a mortal mother, lived a mortal life with normal experiences.  He also witnessed and made possible many very miraculous experiences...some of which caused others to doubt His divinity, persecute Him, and ultimately they ended His mortal life. But I also know that before our Heavenly Father allowed men to end His life, Christ knelt down and suffered indescribable pain in a Garden, by Himself, so that He could know and understand each of us individually.  Then, after all of that agony He allowed men to take Him, hang Him on a cross, and He chose to give up His mortal life so that 3 days later He could complete the atonement by rising from the grave to live again.  He does live again.  Because of that experience my life will never be the same.  None of our lives will be the same again.  #BecauseOfHim - Trending hashtag around the world because we will never be the same again all thanks to our Savior.  "He lives, my kind, wise, Heavenly friend...all glory to His name...oh sweet, the joy this sentence gives: I know that MY Redeemer lives."  He is truly my Redeemer and He can be yours too if you will but come unto Him and let Him carry your burdens.  I am so grateful for Easter and for the annual reminder of these truths.  It is about His life, not just His death.  So in the spirit of Easter I invite all to Come Unto Christ.  There is no better way and no truer love.  Happy Easter.

Love is Stronger Than Hate. - 4/11/14

26 years ago. 26 years ago I was getting ready to enter this world for the first time. My mom was only a few weeks away from delivering a beautiful baby girl, therein giving me my mortal body. Somewhere in that 26 years I've forgotten the beautiful gift my body is. Whether it be the world's or my own negative influence, something along the way told me that my body wasn't good enough how it is, that I needed to be skinnier and prettier and just better. For some reason I trusted that ridiculous notion more than messages from my Heavenly Father letting me know that I am beautiful just the way I am.  Even worse, I have come to take my body for granted, to only think of it in a negative connotation. How dare I!? I get one shot at this life, one shot at proving that I deserve my mortal body, and for 26 years I have been undeserving of that shot.

It is time to make a switch.  They always say that "Love is stronger than hate", and I couldn't agree more...but that doesn't mean it comes without work.  Too often in life, in general, do we let hate be the driving force behind our actions: "I hate my body, I need to change it", "I hate the way I do this, I need to change it", "I hate that my clothes/house/kids aren't as good as hers/his", etc.  How often does this mentality actually drive us to change?  I mean permanent, positive change.  Sure, maybe for a few days, or even a few weeks, but at least for me that change never seems to stick.  I get discouraged and negative and just fall into more hate.  I want love to be the driving force behind my actions, and am starting today to apply phrases like the following into my life:

"I love my body, therefore I take care of it."
(by eating healthy food and exercising regularly)

"I love my Heavenly Father, and to show that love I show respect to the mortal body He has given me."

"I love being healthy and feeling good."

"I love me just the way I am."

Etc.

If I can change the way I see my body or my health, I can change my lifestyle.  As an example, I'm taking a moment for Storytime:
The one time I was successful for a long period of time at exercising and eating right was about a year and a half ago or so.  We had been married for a while, and were at about 2 1/2 - 3 years of infertility.  I went to the doctor and was doing everything I should to follow her "orders" and still no success, but I felt like we were getting closer.  At one of my appointments I got on the scale and saw a number I didn't like, followed by changing into a hospital gown with a body shape I didn't like woke me up to the fact that I wasn't ready to house a fetus...my body wasn't terrible, but it was not where it needed to be to be the ideal place for a precious, growing baby.  Instead of thinking "Ugh, I hate me, I need to lose weight and be skinny and perfect, etc" my mentality was all about taking care of and loving someone else by taking care of me..."I want to be the best I can be", "I want to be healthy and a good mom", etc.  POSITIVE VERBIAGE!  It seriously made the biggest difference.  In the following 3-6 months I felt better than I ever had.  I started eating more "clean food".  I went to the gym regularly.  I tried to stop saying negative things about my body (hey, no one is perfect).  And guess what happened?  I Lost Weight.  18 lbs, I think it was..in just 3 short months and I was able to keep it off for the next six.  This was all cut short when I got in a bad car accident, screwed up my body too bad to work out for a while, and got out of the habit of working out.  Needless to say the weight, laziness, and bad body image came back, but I learned a valuable lesson from that experience:

Love is Stronger Than Hate.  

The more I focused on loving my body and taking care of it, the easier it was to stay motivated to be healthy and the better I felt.  Not only was my body changing, but so were my ways of thinking and my moods/emotions.  I was a better wife, a better friend, and all around a better person.  I started thinking about the things that mattered the most in my life and the changes kept coming.

I don't know how everything changed back so quickly, but I know it had something to do with hate.  I am tired of hate!  I commit now to make a change.  I know it will be slow, it won't happen over night, and there will be stumbling blocks along the way, but I will make a change - in the wise words of Yoda "There is no try, only do" (you're welcome, Bradley).  As part of that change I am going to be more like my awesome soul-sister, Lara, and blog more.  When I blog I am holding myself accountable, and when I hold myself accountable I am more apt to succeed.

Thank you to all the supporters and friends, please keep coming back and commenting.  On the flip side, don't keep reading my/our blog if you aren't a supporter/friend because I have no room for haters, and you'll get real tired of this blog real quick to boot ;)  I'll post about all kinds of things, but there will be frequent personal updates, so buckle up ya'll!

Lots of Loves,
Chels.

Spiritual Vessel Filled...FINALLY! - 3/7/14

For the last 3-4 years I have been in primary, and I'm gonna be honest, I love the kids, but I am getting pretty burnt out!  I need more spirituality every Sunday and I'm the kind of person that needs to be instructed.  I really miss that and feel myself dwindling :(

However!  This last Sunday we went to my cousin's daughter's baby blessing in Lindon (Mike and Emily VanDyke - Emersyn) and it was just what I needed!  We only went to sacrament meeting and it was "just" Fast Sunday, but the spirit was so strong and the instruction was so perfect.  Not only was the blessing beautiful and a lot like what I feel our first baby blessing will be like with our infertility connection, but the whole meeting was just wonderful.  I love the church and I love feeling like I belong and am involved.  Heavenly Father is truly aware of me and wants the utmost happiness for me.  I just need to be better about acknowledging the spirit in my life and His hand in my decisions and outcomes.

Thank goodness for some spiritual refreshment!

Update: Project Find Chelsea - 3/3/14

Well I'm not in a terrible mood and I'm blogging so this is a good step :) and I'm really excited because I just barely thought to see if there was an app for blogger (I know, about time, right?) and I finally downloaded it! Going to make it so much easier for me to check FB less and still be able to upload pics and such :D

Anyway, life is slowly coming back together. I do think I'm still pretty dependent on Brad and that I have some soul searching to do, so I'm not stopping this mission, but I do think that I was especially out of control because he worked SOOOO much in February and we were working on the wood floors upstairs every free second we did have together, and things at work were stressful, and I wasn't being good about reading my scriptures and getting my daily spiritual fill...so now that the mess of 02/14 is over and I can finally breathe, I think the depression fog is clearing and I can be a normal person again :) thank goodness for my sweet, patient, understanding husband who loves me and supports me even when I'm wretched to him and super crazy to boot. He is my rock for sure :)

An Email to Brad...Project "Find Chelsea". - 2/7/14

I'm going through something.  It started probably 4 years ago, but I've suppressed it with excuses and fake smiles and busy work...putting emphasis on the wrong things, distracting myself from the real problems in my life, etc.  Lara showed me this blog and I think I really need it...

http://www.ablogaboutlove.com/2011/09/most-important-things-ive-ever-learned.html

http://www.ablogaboutlove.com/2011/10/most-important-things-ive-ever-learned.html

http://www.ablogaboutlove.com/2011/11/most-important-things-ive-ever-learned.html

I really do put too much pressure on you, and my happiness in life comes from all of the wrong things.  I've just been floating around for 25 years, not ever pinning myself down to figure out who Chelsea is.  There are several points in these posts that hit the nail right on the head...more specifically these: 

• To really show a healthy kind of love to your spouse, children, parents, family, coworkers, or friends, your emotional well-being cannot be dependent on them.  The source of your wholeness & your security as a person needs to be based on something else.  For me, the ups and downs of my well-being used to hinge on the love or affection from my husband, or my husband's  (or my own) approval of my looks, or the status of my baby-making, or on the goal of one day having a successful business.  I know what it's like to not have any of those things and to feelpretty miserable about it.  But now, I know better.  And so, instead of basing my deepest happiness & well-being on my husband or unborn children, I get my strength & healing from tapping into what I know to be the most powerful force of goodness & love & strength for all:  being at one with God.  That's a pretty tall order.  But it's available to me at ALL times, no matter what my circumstances are.  Until I was 30, I had no clue how to really do this.  It turns out that anything religious didn't really mean a whole lot to me before then.  But in a desperate state, I decided to give it a go & see what would happen.  I tried to feel that oneness every single day, and that's when the really, really deep & independent peace started.  And one of the best consequences of this?  Now having the sweetest marriage I could ever imagine.  :)

•   When your real, deep peace is not dependent on your husband or kids, you remove that pressure from them to constantly satisfy you.  Know any moms or dads that hang their own personal happiness & well being around their children's necks and display deep inadequacy/disappointment/depression if their kids do not fulfill all their dreams of perfection?  Or, do you know any wives that are miserable because their husbands don't "fulfill" them in all the ways that they want to be fulfilled?  I see it all the time.  No matter how it's done, if someone is basing their own personal happiness on the behavior of another, no matter how much they think they love that person, they are actually not showing love at all.  Instead, they're loading on an unhealthy amount of  pressure, which can be felt for a lifetime.  I know way too many adults that sadly STILL feel inadequate or unsure of themselves, due to the pressure of their mothers or fathers.

Thank you for always trying to fix me, but I think it's time that I do the fixing and do things for me.  I love being with you, but I need to love being with me too.

Your Chels.